Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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