I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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