I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He did a backflip because drugs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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