K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
