oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
