He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
