i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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