I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
