I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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