I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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