yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She told me I should be a condom model.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
