I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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