Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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