just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
