I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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