I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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