Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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