One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
