so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
