I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
