We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
