she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
