There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize