Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
