Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
