Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
