I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
