at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
