Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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