Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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