So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
