Whod you bang
Please, let me fuck your mom
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
