Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
