i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
