hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize