Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's just like the Real World with babies
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
