If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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