How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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