google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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