bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
