do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize