it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
