We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
