is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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