Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
