would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
