So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
