Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
not ubering you a puppy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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