it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
