Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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