How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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