No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
