I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
