She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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