Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
