Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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