dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
