All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
