Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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