Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
