erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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