we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
