I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
