fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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