oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
