I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
