Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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