Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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