Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
