wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
