So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish you could order shots online.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
