im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
