I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
