you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
